Financial Hack

I tend to be a little on the clumsy side and a little on the edge of dim. I was a member of the international honor society and made the dean’s list every year in college. I competed in kickboxing and trained with an Olympian. I can perform killer half moon kicks and read novels in less than a day but… when it comes to walking straight lines or using common sense… I’m a moron.

Obviously, I had trouble with the stairs yesterday – but I’m going to blame my plastic hi-heels for that one (it makes me feel better).

I had just finished running down the rest of the stairs… wait… I had just finished limping down the stupid stairs and had passed through another secured door when I was suddenly greeted by half my department. Thinking they somehow knew I was the idiot who fell down the stairs, I tried to change the subject before it even started.

I sniffed and said excitedly, ‘Mmmm! Pumpkin seeds! Did someone just roast some in the kitchen?’

They stared at me.

Crap. I must have been bleeding from my ears or something.

Silence.

Followed by more awkward silence.

My boss started to snicker, ‘That smell is marijuana. Security just removed our guest who decided to light up in the waiting area. Do you get out much?’

‘Oh.’ I said embarrassed.

‘Are you OK? It sounded like you fell down the stairs’ he said.

For the sake of common sense and job security, I should have ‘experimented’ in high school… or at least gone to a reggae concert. And I’m thinking of investing in a good pair of ‘business casual’ hiking boots.

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