Financial Hack

I was able to attend my husband’s company Christmas party this weekend.

An open bar Christmas party.

Over the years as a responsible designated driver (i.e. generally the only sober person at this event each year), I’ve discovered my own method for reading the intoxication level of my fellow patrons.

Perhaps the nation’s Highway Patrol should take notes.

I call it… The Hug Factor.

Based on the length of your hug, I can tell how many drinks you’ve had.

No hug, simply a short handshake = you’ve just arrived and haven’t received your drink coupons yet.

Quick hug = You’ve finished the first of 8 drink coupons.

5 second hug = You’ve barreled through your second and are on your way to the bar again.

10 second hug = Drink coupon #4 has left the building.

15 second hug = Drink coupon #6 is with the bartender and you are struggling to remember my name so you take to calling me ‘Darlin’.

60 second hug = You’ve polished off all 8 coupons and are unabashedly searching my pockets looking for mine. Yes. I noticed.

61 seconds or longer = What started as a hug turned into a ‘short nap’. That’s when I pull out my cell phone and speed dial the cab company – who by this time, knows my name and offers me a percentage of the profits if I keep calling.

Overall, I had a fantastic time.

Best of luck at your Christmas parties – and be careful with those hugs.