Financial Hack

I’ve been working a lot for the ‘big box’ store and I have the scars to prove it. My hands look like they’ve been through a meat grinder and my arms are sporting some super cool bruises.

Nope. I’m not looking for sympathy.

I love battle scars. They make me look rough and tough… in my pink work shirt.

I’m doing well at my job. I’m pushing to be the best employee in ‘big box’ store history. Because of my quality work, I’ve been given the following recognitions by management:

1 – I am the fastest cart corraler.

Truth: Because of my small size, I don’t have the weight ratio needed to push 10 shopping carts. I have to get a running start to build momentum and slam myself into the cart stack to get it moving. In order to keep it moving… I have to keep running. In order to get the stack to turn into the corral, I have to sprint.

Yes, I look as ridiculous as it sounds.

I had a couple customers cheer, applaud, and laugh at my efforts.

And no, I haven’t needed to stop the stack yet. Most people move when they seen carts rushing toward them at 25 miles an hour. And… I’m not sure I’m capable of stopping anyway.

2 – I am the fastest refrigerator and freezer organizer.

Truth: Take me from pushing carts in the hot sun, throw me in the freezer, and absolutely… I’m going to set records.

And yes, sweaty shirts can freeze to your back.

I’m going to cancel my gym membership.

8 hours a day of cardio cart pushing and shivering is plenty for me. My pants are suddenly not fitting… in a good way.

On the day job front – I’m suddenly miss popularity.

OK, so maybe three calls for interviews in 24 hours isn’t exactly mind blowing, but I’m happy someone thinks I’m worth a second look.

I’ll make sure to add my new skills to my resume:

1 – Cart corraler
2 – Freezer Organizer

And

3 – I’ve obtained… ‘Street Cred’.

I’ve got big box ‘gang scars’ homies.